Hey all,
Here's my fifth draft of the poem for David Raphael Scott's choral music piece about the 2004 tsunami.
As I previously mentioned, I have chosen to focus the piece on Aceh, the province of Indonesia that was hardest hit by the earthquake and resulting tsunami.
This choice is based on my travels to Indonesia in 1999 as well as my discovery earlier this year that my great great grandfather was one of the Governor Generals of the Dutch East Indies (and, as such, was responsible for the the last 'push' into Aceh that ended the thirty-year Aceh War and brought it under Dutch control).
Indonesia inherited Aceh when the Dutch left, mid-twentieth century, but Indonesian rule proved to be no more palatable to the Acehinese than that of the Dutch and the independence movement continued.
And then the tsunami hit in December 2004. Six months later, on August 15th, the Acehinese rebel rulers in hiding and the Indonesian government signed a peace treaty so as not to inflict more suffering on the Acehinese people.
I've been fascinated by this evolving subject for months - I'd just begun writing about Indonesia and Aceh when the tsunami rose its full 30 meters and washed out Southeast Asia - but have appreciated the spur working with David provided.
I hope you enjoy the poem...it's distinctly fragmentary, composed of lists and postcards 'home' and disjointed thoughts.
As a final note, I always appreciate any feedback youse guys may have on the piece, especially as my deadline draws near.
Thanks.
A.
* * *
Rust en Orde / Tranquility and Order
Dear Willem -
You kept colonies coolies and calm
then led incursions into Aceh
ships laden with the ache
of soldiers leaving the field of war
with the sway
of pierced poppies in the fields
- Bill of lading, Aceh, 1840
Silk thread
lutestring
dates
sugar candy
needles
iron nails
knives
frying pans
1901
In the bath my son didn’t displace
even as much water as a bale of tea
on a ship leaving harbour for home
In my arms my son was no heavier
than a magazine of bullets
in the pack of a soldier bound for Aceh
- Waterborne diseases, Aceh, 2004
Hepatitis A
Hepatitis E
Diarrhea
Typhoid fever
And the only thing I shared with him
a hundred years later
was leaving Indonesia
Dear Willem -
After she delivered your granddaughter
as if she was a bag of sugar
moving from the delivery room to the cemetery
your son boarded the steamer
for Indonesia and Aceh
as scheduled
- Chief agricultural products, Indonesia
Bananas
cassava
coconuts
coffee
corn
palm oil
rice
rubber
spices
sugarcane
sweet potatoes
1999
We knew we’d inherited our dark hair
from the grandmother we called Oma
but we had no idea
we were walking the roads that led him away
As the highways were treaded and retreaded
by trucks full of soldiers
the tips of their guns showing through slats
by buses full of protestors
all heading north to Aceh
in pursuit of the first free elections
in fifty years
As the water buffaloes in their paddies
lifted feet out of the muck
shifted their weight
set hooves
down
Dear Willem -
In that café in Indonesia
I thought I was no thirstier
than those that came before me
even as I stirred
another spoonful of sugar
into my tea
and watched the sweet grains
settle
Chief import, Aceh, 2004
Water
water
water
water
water
When we got home our ship sitting low
with cinnamon cochineal cotton indigo
only half his words worked
2004
They say only weather systems
are large enough to feel
the curvature of the earth
but boys in Aceh see the swirl
of water in the tub as it drains away
and know the displaced depth
of the sea
men in Aceh stand barefoot in the rain
eating a handful of rice
as soliders roam
the streets
And the mouths of the cannons then
the correspondents now
all murmur: Aceh
* * *
Notes:
1) Blogger didn't like some of my spacing...suggestions...so the poem here isn't spacially similar to the poem on the page, but I think you'll get the gist.
2) For those of you that like to compare and contrast, here's the earlier draft of the poem...
4 comments:
In the seventh stanza (I think) it starts with 'she' and shifts, mid-stanza to 'he'. The phrasing makes it seem like you're referring to the same person, so the wording is a bit off. Otherwise, this is an extremely intriguing poem - I can't quite imagine it to music, but it's gorgeous.
I like the poem's historical thread. Few people here know anything about Indonesia. Fewer know about East Timor; and fewer still about Aceh. Of people in Canada who know the most about Aceh, I would probably fall within the top one per cent, but I still know very little -- and almost nothing about the colonial (and prior) history of the place. Your poem has been educational in this regard!
The mercantile stuff -- bill of lading, imports, exports -- is really good. The very point of colonialism.
I hope the peace treaty works out. Crucial to this will be that the international troops stationed as monitors in Aceh are empowered to shoot (to kill) militia forces (as in the case of the UN task force finally dispatched to Timor). Without this power, militias will quickly realize that they continue to be literally licensed to kill and kill.
Happy thoughts!
Ed
I like it. Like the {"water water water" part. Will be interesting hearing it to music. Maybe I'll go when it's performed...
Annie
Hey Ariel,
I don't know if the deadline is waaaay past or what, but I still thought I owed it to you to comment on you lovely poem.
Of the three versions, I actually prefer version 1 the best; "details" was something that Polly mentioned, and I love the details in version 1. That being said, version 3 has its charms as well, although I agree with the comment that Jill made that it seems too choppy, and because of that I really can't see it set to music. But I'm neither a poet or a musician, ecclectic or not.
Why I liked version 1: the progression of everything. Everything seemed to fit better together; the lists preceding the stanzas were much nicer to read, and gave me a better "history lesson" than the other two versions (to echo something which Ed mentioned about learning historical facts in your poems).
I found version 3 just too choppy in places. Stanzas 1 - 5 are fine, but the 6th one ("and the only thing I shard with him a hundred years later was leaving Indonesia") doesn't mean as much to me when it's so seperated from the rest. It was much more powerful in version 2. Then the next bunch of stanzas seem to flow together (in a less choppy way, meaning that I can follow what's happening, and "get it" if that makes any sense), but then when I hit this stanza: ("When we got home our ship sitting low with cinnamon cochineal cotton indigo only half his words worked")I get that "huh?" feeling again. It feels too distant from everything preceding it. Sure, it means something, but it's kinda too disjointed from the rest; it feels "plopped" there.
With all that being said, I think it does read very well, despite those two "plopped" stanzas, but I have to agree with Jill when she says she can't see it fit to music. I can totally see version 1 with music.
Is the musician singing the poem? Or just displaying it with music in the background? That would make a world of difference, and make version 3 much more powerful.
Anyways, I'm not sure if any of this non-poet rambling makes sense or will help, but you can be content to know that I did indeed read all 3 versions (several times) and came away a better, more poet educated, dude.
Post a Comment